


Into Soul World

by crazyaboutto



Series: Natasha deserves better [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Mentions of every character, Natasha Romanoff Deserved Better, Natasha deserves happiness, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 05:03:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20352835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyaboutto/pseuds/crazyaboutto
Summary: After Natasha's jump, she wakes up in another world, Soul World. She opens her eyes to a new life, a perfect one. But nothing lasts forever...Can be read as prequel to Future isn't set in stone.It is about Natasha but there are hints of some relationships: Bam (Sam and Bucky), Romanogers#Natashadeservedbetter





	Into Soul World

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to publish this in May but life happened. I hope you enjoy it. This can be read as a prequel to Future isn’t set in stone. A few heads up about the fic, check out the description below.  
The fic is set right after Natasha’s jump in Endgame.  
Italics= thoughts and emphasis  
Bold + Underlined = past conversations  
Bold = location and time  
You will see * next to a few words. They are Russian. Normally I wrote the translation in () but this time they are at the bottom.  
If you want, you can join my Avengers Discord group. It is ship free and no character hating so all is welcome.  
https://discord.gg/HJs4UJB

** _It’s okay_ **

** _Let me go_ **

**_It’s okay_**  
Natasha opened her eyes abruptly, blinking a few times to adjust the light of orange sky before old habits kicked and the reflexes of being a master assassin and world class spy made her drink in her surroundings hurriedly - the fact that she was in an unfamiliar place, laying on the floor filled with water. She didn’t notice anyone as she rose up. She checked her body for injuries and after finding nothing, she inspected her surroundings. _Strange… I could have sworn the sky was orange._ There stood blue sky and at that moment, a terrible headache hit her. She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose to cease the ache. The pain was getting more unbearable by the second until she heard a voice; a voice calling her name.

_Her real name…_

She whirled around, trying to find the source of the voice. _An ally? An enemy_? Then she spotted two figures that stood far away. She blinked a few times to be sure that they were real and looked again. They were much closer now. Natasha couldn’t help but begin to question the reality. _Am I drugged? Are they hallucinations? _She examined the figures: one male and one female both are around late 40s or early 50s. She didn’t know why but there was a pull towards them and without realizing it, she started to get closer to them.

“_Natalia…”_

Natasha stopped the second she heard her name again. Realization came down upon her.  
  
“мамочка*?” She had said for the first time in her life, the word sounding so foreign on her tongue yet there was an urge to call out that word.

Last time she saw her mother was when she was 3 or at least that’s what Ivan told her. She didn’t remember them; there was only fire, the fire that took them away. Maybe that fire wasn’t even real but a game by Red Room. After their death, the only thing she had left of her parents was a photo of her, her mom and dad but Ivan took that away. She could recall the exact words he had said.

** _That girl died along with her parents. You don’t need these reminiscing photographs that make you long for that time. Only weak hold on to emotions and weak die in Red Room. You aren’t weak, are you Natalia?_ **

She wouldn’t be able to describe her parents’ faces but in that moment, she knew them, knew the figures that stood in front of her. She didn’t waste her time and run to them, ignoring the questions about how it was possible. She was hugging her parents tightly, kissing their cheeks and smelling their scents to burn them in her mind as if they could vanish any second. She couldn’t have rejoiced more when they hugged her back. She was used to hiding her true emotions but this moment caused her to cry.

Natasha would have preferred if they stayed like that forever but her logical side took over. She pulled back and looked at their faces. She quickly wiped her eyes and held on to her parents, not letting them go in fear of them going away again. “How is this possible?” Natasha asked them or some magical being that had the answer.

Her mother spoke with a warm smile on her face. “Natalia, we were waiting for you. How was the practice?”

Natasha didn’t understand her question. “Wha-What?”

Her father, Alian, replied to her. “Ballet, of course! Although I don’t think my daughter needs any practice, we both know she memorized entire Swan Lake when she was 6, моя любовь*” He turned to Nadia, Natasha’s mother, and patted on Nadia’s hand.

Natasha was more confused than before. She stumbled back, letting them go for the first time since the unexpected reunion. “What?” she gaped in a low voice that only she could hear. _No…_She felt dizzy and wanted to hold on to something or someone. As she was about to hold on to her father, she noticed the clothing on her arms or in that case, lack of clothing. Her eyes travelled up her sleeve to out rest of her clothing. She was wearing ballerina suit except tutu and shoes. _What the fuck…I was wearing my Black Widow suit. How did it change in a second?_

She took deep breaths not to freak out. Just when she thought she was going insane, she noticed another change in scenery. The ground was grass instead of water. She festinately searched for other changes and saw a house – no a mansion behind her parents. She surveyed rest of environment and saw that they were now in a neighborhood. Natasha was startled by everything happening. Inside she was freaking out but she couldn’t let this be shown. Whole ordeal feels like she has been brainwashed again by Red Room. _Fight it Natasha, you did it once and can do it again._

Her mother reached for her left hand as her father reached for her right hand. Natasha’s logic was saying ‘_None of this is true’, _yet her heart was rejoicing from the possibility of being with her parents. “Come,” they said, leading her to the house.

_I shouldn’t go in but I want to…_

Nadia opened the door, both Nadia and Alian gestured the inside of the house with smiles on their faces. Natasha took a deep breath. She knew what was happening is impossible but she wanted to live that moment while she can even if it is false. She took a step inside and saw a normal homelike - a home she used to dream as a child. She walked in the mansion and examined the stuff in it. Inside the mansion, she saw pictures, her pictures from a life she didn’t live, from an impossible life.

“I see you are checking out your 5th birthday party,” Nadia took a photo from the wall and pointed for Natasha. “I can never forget that one. That was the birthday that you decided to be a ballerina.” Natasha took the picture from her hands and touched the frame. _It feels so real._

“Although we knew you would want to be a ballerina since you were born.” Alian said proudly. “You would stop crying when we went to ballet performance. As you grew up, your eyes would shine whenever we saw a show.”

Natasha heard them but she was trying to gather her thought and decided to face the reality. “I wish this really happened. I _wish_ you were real but I _know_ this is just fabrication by someone or Red Room.” She was about to cry, not being able to hold the emotions too long.

“My dove,” Nadia put her hands on Nat’s face and spoke smoothly, the words rolling off her tongue like honey. “What is a red room?”

Natasha shook her mother’s hands, chuckling, “Red Room is---“. She stopped and tried again. “Red Room is-“, in that moment Natasha forgot what Red Room stood for. The name just left a bitter taste on her tongue but she couldn’t explain why. “Ivan took me to Red Room but I don’t know what Red Room is.”

“Who is Ivan?” This time, Alian asked.

“Ivan was…” Again the name gave her chills, shaking her to the core but she couldn’t remember who Ivan is. “Never mind…” She dismissed the question and asked one of her own. “Can you tell me more, please?” She was trying to piece everything together. Her mind was jumbled and she could use any information to clear her thoughts.

Her parents’ faces lighten up with her request as if they had been waiting for her to ask that. They gestured her the sofas and they all sat down together. “When you said you wanted to ballerina, we took you to the course in studio. They loved you immediately.” Her mother started.

Alian continued with a smile, “You were already practicing Swan Lake’s moves on your own.”

“We’ve never doubted you becoming Head Ballerina except during your high school years” Nadia laughed at that memory.

“Why?” Natasha inquired, chuckling.

“You and your friends founded a rock band called…What was the name of it, Nadia?” Alian turned to look his wife’s face.

Before Nadia could say something, Natasha answered instinctively, “The Avengers”

“That is the name!” Her father exclaimed excitedly.

“Chitauri…” Natasha whispered to herself but her parents heard her.

“That was the name of your first album.” Nadia intercepted.

“Then you released Age of Ultron, Infinity War and Endgame. You have 22 singles totally. Though I still cannot understand where you found these names.”

Natasha laughed genuinely. She recalled the names but what she recalled wasn’t the fights; it was a memory from another lifetime unbeknownst to Natasha. “I am not sure but I think we found the names by merging bunch of ideas.”

Natasha started to feel at ease- all the tension she felt until that moment vanished. She felt like actually lived those moments. Without Natasha’s awareness, the memories from her old life, which she was an assassin and spy, were fading away and replacing with this world’s memories. She remembered her first partner in high school, remembered her high school graduation. Natasha remembered everything from her new life but to her it was the only life she had.

“Are you ready for the evening? Or did you forget that we are throwing barbeque party?” Nadia stood up and put the picture where it belonged.

“Боже мой*! I need to shower now! Everyone is coming right? No one canceled it?” Natasha rose suddenly and practically was running to her own room as if she did it a million times before. She stopped at the stairs, waiting for an answer.

“Yes my Swan, everyone is coming. Don’t worry, your mother and we will take care of preparations.” Alian answered, holding Nadia’s hand.

For some reason, Natasha didn’t go up. She had sudden urge to go and kiss her parents’ cheeks and she did. She felt like she had to spend as much as time and show affection to them. Then she bolted to her room to get ready for the evening. One would have thought she was making up for the lost time. Another would have said she was showing as much affection as she could because her parents could vanish any moment. Yet, to Natasha, this was just a regular routine.

* * *

After a quick shower, Natasha was looking for what to wear in her closet, still wrapped with a towel. She couldn’t pick anything. _It’s not that complicated. I’ve got dresses in my closet; I would like to pick one out._

At that moment, someone knocked on her door. “Natashenka? Have you decided on your outfit?”

Natasha strolled to the door, opening it for her mother to enter. “Mama, you’ve come to my rescue.” Nadia Romanova walked in the room as Natasha closed the door. “I’ve been looking at my clothes for ages but I can’t choose anything.”

“Which one would you prefer? Dress, skirt, pants or shorts?” Natasha shrugged at the question. “I think,” Nadia went to her closet and pulled a green summer dress. “This dress would be perfect. The green brings out your eye color. The weather is too hot for pants and if you pick shorts or a skirt, you will spend more time picking out a matching top next.”

Natasha approached her mother and took the dress; walked in front of the mirror and held it over her body, checking her reflection. “This is perfect. Thank you, mamochka.”

Nadia sat on Natasha’s bed and patted the spot next to her. “Come, let me do your hair. Do you want me to braid it or do you have something else in your mind?”

Natasha sat next to her mother and turned her back towards her mother. “No, a French braid will be fine.” Nadia removed the towel on Natasha’s head. While she was drying her daughter’s hair, the stray cat Natasha adopted crawled on Nat’s feet. “Liho! I wondered where you ran off to.” Natasha picked up the cat and put her down on her lap, petting on Liho’s head.

Nadia answered Natasha’s question. “She saw another cat in our garden and went after it.” Nadia laughed, “Maybe you will be a grandmother soon.”

“Oh no, Liho wouldn’t do things like that. Would you, Liho?” Natasha looked at her cat and the answer was a simple meowing.

“I told you.” Nadia put the towel on the bed. “Your hair is still wet? Do you want me to fetch a hair dryer?”

“No need”

Nadia nodded and went to Natasha’s vanity table to get hair brush and hair pins. She returned to her place and started to comb her daughter’s hair, humming a song. Then she proceeded to braid Natasha’s hair.

Natasha was going through two conflicting feelings. On one hand, she was feeling like this is the first time her mother was doing her hair but on the other hand, this happened like a millionth time.

After getting her hair done, Natasha’s mother left the room. Natasha wore the green dress and went downstairs. The second she stepped down the first floor, the doorbell rang. She opened the door and saw her friends. “Did you all waited at the door so you could get into the house at the same time?” She asked while smirking, not expecting any answer.

“How did you guess?” Clint answered before Natasha was attacked by his children.

“Auntie Nat!” Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel Pietro all jumped onto Nat’s arms. She hugged them back. The guest started to enter the house.

“I want a hug too.” Natasha heard Morgan, letting the three go. She knelt to Morgan’s level.

“I would like to hug you too, sweetie.” Morgan smiled and wrapped her small arms around Nat’s neck.

“I learned a new word, Auntie Nat. Do you want to hear it?” She asked smiling. Natasha nodded in approval. “Shit!”

Natasha was amused to hear that but what was more amused by Tony and Pepper’s reactions. From their looks, Natasha figured out Tony was the one who taught Morgan that word and Pepper wasn’t happy about it. “Tony!”

“I don’t know where she heard it from.” Tony answered quickly.

“Daddy you said it.” Morgan informed her parents.

“I didn’t know Morgan was in the room.” Tony said to Pepper.

“We will talk about this later.” Pepper turned to Morgan. “Honey, we shouldn’t say that word. Promise me you won’t say it again.”

“I promise.” Morgan said with mischief in her eyes.

Natasha stood up, welcomed Tony and Pepper. She did the same for the rest of guests. She was herding the group to the garden when she heard Cassie talk. “Promise me dad, you won’t do magic tricks.”

“Did someone say magic?” Wanda asked.

“I’ve heard it too.” Pietro joined Wanda, resting his arm on his twin’s shoulder.

“Do magic, do magic!!” The kids that came chorused.

Cassie shook her head in embarrassment. She loved her dad’s magic tricks as a kid but it was embarrassing as a teen. Regardless, Scott pulled cards from his pocket. “Who wants to pick a card?” He pointed the cards to kids.

Cooper was going to participate in that but after seeing Cassie’s reaction, he held himself back. He went to sulk with Cassie. Natasha noticed his behavior and nudged Clint with his elbow. “Someone has a crush.”

Clint laughed, grabbing a beer. Laura heard what Natasha said and joined the conversation. “You should have seen him before we left the house. He was freaking out about his hair.”

“Oh boy, I certainly don’t miss being a teen.” Clint spoke then taking a sip from beer.

“Have you given him _the talk_ yet?” Natasha asked.

Laura answered, laughing. “Clint did it. But Cooper was more confused than before and I had to explain him from the start.”

Natasha laughed too. “For some reason, I am not surprised.”

Everyone was enjoying their day; Natasha went to converse with others. She spotted the Military Club and approached them. “How do you do, Military Club?” They groaned at the nickname. None of them wanted to be called that but all of them were involved in army. Carol, Rhodey and Sam were in air force while Bucky and Steve were in army.

“Will you ever stop with nicknames?” Bucky asked.

“Will you ever stop making out with your boyfriend Sam?” Natasha retorted slyly.

Sam and Bucky spoke at the same time. “He’s not my boyfriend!”

The rest of group laughed and said stuff like _sure, definitely, I believe you._

Carol furthered the joke. “There is so much tension with you two…”

Rhodey continued. “I agree. You should either marry each other or kill each other.”

Steve had a stern look on his face. “Guys, we should wait until they come to terms with each other.” But he finished it with an amused look.

“There is nothing going on between me and James- I mean Bucky. I wouldn’t date someone,” Sam looked at Bucky as if accusing him. “…who sold my bed!”

“Are you still on that? I told you I had to do it.” Bucky defended himself.

“To buy some plums!!” Sam remembered Bucky’s sorry-ass excuse.

“Exactly! You know how much I love plums. And I wasn’t going to sell my own bed. Where would I sleep otherwise?”

It looked like they would continue their cute argument, Carol, Rhodey, Steve and Natasha slowly walked away. Steve was alone with Natasha after Rhodey went to talk with Tony who was in dept talk with his science bro, Bruce Banner, and Carol looked for her girlfriend. “So when is your ballet show?” Steve asked.

“It’s on April 25. Will you be able to come?” Natasha hoped that he would come but she also didn’t want to put any pressure on him to come.

“Of course I will. You become something else when you dance.” Natasha lifted her right eyebrow. When Steve noticed it, he became too excited. “No no, I meant someone else! Not that you-you is bad but ballerina-you is more… you know…”

Seeing Steve struggle with giving compliment amused Natasha. “After all these years, you still can’t talk to the women, can you Steve?”

Steve’s cheek turned bright red. Since he didn’t trust what he might say next, he just nodded in approval. Natasha was going to continue teasing him but she heard her father calling everyone to the table. “We should grab a seat.” She said to Steve.

“You first…” Natasha said and journeyed to the table. She took a seat next to her mother and father.

Natasha looked at everyone who came. Clint and Laura Barton and their children; Tony & Pepper Stark-Potts and Morgan; Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, James Rhodes, Carol Danvers, Brünnhilde, Thor; Scott Lang, Hope Van Dyne and Cassie Lang, Bruce Banner, Wanda and Pietro Maximoff.

She wished Okoye and T’challa would come but they had an important issue in their homeland, Wakanda, and Nebula had to take her raccoon to a vet. If they came, this dinner would be complete. At least Natasha would meet up with Okoye every two weeks and Wanda would join them too. The rest of gang called them Holy Trinity which was a nickname that Natasha loved.

Natasha smiled inwardly before starting to eat. That strange feeling settled down on her stomach again. The feeling that made her thought that this was the first time she’s having dinner with her entire family and at the same time it’s the millionth time.

She ignored it again and continued to enjoy the food. Everyone was happy and talking with each other. Natasha occasionally joined conversations. _I wish we will always be this happy._

* * *

After the dinner, Alian wanted to hear some music in the garden. Natasha told her father that she would get the stereo out the garden as she went inside the house. She searched for the portable stereo but couldn’t find it so she went back to garden to ask her mother where the stereo was. But the scene she saw was horrifying.

Everything started to vanish, turning into dust particles or ashes; Natasha didn’t know. She looked around to see her mother and father or anyone else but there was no one. Instead she was standing in the middle of nowhere- vast amount of water body and sky with orange hue. She was freaking out but at the same time, Natasha was forcing herself to stay calm with all her might.

_No please, come back_.... she thought longingly though she didn’t dare to say it aloud and make it real. A part of her felt like she lived this moment before; that she felt the same emotions before but she couldn’t remember a time in her life that she could feel this much despair.

Natasha didn’t have much time to mourn before she heard someone calling her name.

“Natasha?”

_Only he didn’t vanish?_ She thought as she turned to the source of voice. She was glad to see someone and would be to see anyone really; she didn’t think she had enough strength cope with whatever the fuck was going on by herself.

“Hey Tony,” she continued after checking out his outfit and noticing the difference. “When did you change your attire? Also where did this metal armor come from?” She asked playfully, not wanting to spook him, the only company she had at the moment, by explaining him that everything around them had turned to ashes.

“No,” he started, sounding tired – actually done with everything would be more accurate at this point.

_Strange_, Natasha thought. None of the people in her world sounded like that. _Come to think of it, he doesn’t seem like the same Tony she was with moments ago. He looks like he’s been through hell._

He suddenly wrapped his arms around her and hugging tightly. “I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.” He said as if he was on the verge of crying. Maybe he was crying…

“What are you talking about? We were having dinner, I went to pick up stereo so there would be music but everyone disappeared.” He let her go, only to look her in the eye. Natasha laughed nervously at his antics, thinking that this was a prank but then she really looked, seeing the misery behind his eyes. Memories flooded her mind causing her to stumble back. **_It’s okay._** She took a step back. **_Let me go._** Tony tried to reach her but she pulled herself away. She felt like someone was drilling her head. **_It’s okay...._**

_But then she remembered._

Natasha remembered her last moments.**_ Tell my family I love them. _** Her last moments with Barton…**_ Tell them yourself_**. Her jumping off the cliff so Barton could have the Soul Stone.

She sat down to get herself together for the moment as Tony retreated his armor, standing with casual attire. She was rubbing her temples when Tony sat next to her left, putting his arm around her shoulders. “You are real, aren’t you?” She asked, fearing that he might vanish like others if she looked at him.

“As real as you...” he answered, patting her back. 

She turned to look at him, asking the demented question. “Did we win?”

“We did.” Natasha had never thought that two words could make her happy. Even though the following question could have taken that happiness, she had to know. “Then why are you here?”

“It was Bruce who snapped his fingers first. He brought back others but Nebula wasn’t the Nebula we knew. She,” he paused to find right words. “aah... she signaled Thanos and brought him to us. We fought, the ones vanished came to aid as well as the forces of Wakanda, sorcerers and Asgardians. Thanos almost snapped his fingers again but before he could do it, I took the stones and I snapped. His army and Thanos got dusted just like he did to half of universe.” Natasha squeezed his knee, giving him some comfort. “Using stones have severe effect on the user…”

Feeling his discomfort, Natasha tried to reassure him. “You can stop if you want.”

“Bruce lost his arm when he snapped. Well not entirely and there is a huge chance that his arm will heal. The gamma radiation from the stones would not affect him if one of us snapped.”

Natasha understood in that moment. “And when you snapped…” She trailed off, not wishing to finish the sentence.

“Yeah,” was the only answer she got.

While she was okay with her own death, she couldn’t handle her friends’ deaths – her family’s death. She jumped on to her feet, rubbing her face with her hands roughly. “Are you kidding me?” Her voice had accusing innuendo. “You said everyone returned right? And I suppose Carol also fought alongside with you?” Tony only nodded instead of speaking. “For fuck’s sake! Wanda is a telepath; she can move things with her mind. She could have snapped the gauntlet without harming herself. Not to mention that she got her powers from an infinity stone! Same goes for Carol! She is indestructible! She would have been fine after the snap; she told us origins of her power! You didn’t have to die, Tony… you didn’t…” Natasha couldn’t stop her tears from falling.

Tony also rose from the ground and hugged her. “It’s alright, Nat. They didn’t have opportunity.” He was comforting her as well as himself. “It’s okay. I’ve lived an amazing life and I don’t regret that I was the one that snapped. Knowing that we won is enough for me.”

Natasha had cried in the last 5 years more than the rest of her life. This wasn’t how it should have ended. “This shouldn’t have been the end. We should have returned to Avengers Compound, throw a party, drink alcohol and tell embarrassing stories of each other…” She recalled the life before the Ultron. _I would give everything to go back in that time and stay there forever._

“Speaking of embarrassing stories…Did you know Steve used swear words?” Tony let her go to look into her face, trying to shift the mood. “He said _shit_ when we were in 2012.”

Natasha laughed- she really needed this, a small distraction. “That is what I prefer to call _character growth_.”

“Oh no no no, I am sure that was your influence.”

“How so?”

“Maybe all those Netflix and chilling, doing laundry and grabbing coffee…?” Tony answered suggestively.

Natasha hit him on the shoulder playfully. “Oh God, you are the worst.”

Tony laughed, “You thought you two were being discreet? Give me a break, Nat.” He continued to laughing, putting a hand on her shoulder to keep his balance. “You lost your touch since I met you. That woman was more spy.. spier? Is that a word?” She rolled her eyes. “I think Steve’s personality also rubbed on you.”

“I should have drugged you and stole your kidneys in that diner, Stark.” Natasha sounded pissed but in reality she wasn’t.

“I would have fired you before you had that chance”

“That wasn’t up to you.” She shot back, smirking.

Their conversation kept going on like this, reminiscing their past, making jokes, just relaxing. They didn’t notice the change around their environment until the color of sky and the light from it change. Now they were near somewhere like a beach. They sat down together.**

“Does this place,” Tony gestured everywhere, “or wherever this is change a lot?”

“I suppose…The change is so natural that you feel like it’s always been like that.”

“How many times has this occurred?”

Natasha shook her head, having a bitter smile on her face. “Just once…” Tony waited for her to continue, knowing that it is futile to inquire unless she wanted to tell something. “When I woke up for the first time, I didn’t have the memory of my death. There was just blank space in my memory that I didn’t notice. But then…Then I saw them, my parents.” Natasha took a deep breath to not get emotional than necessary. For the last 5 years, she seemed to become more sensitive than she could imagine. “I don’t remember meeting my parents but I knew it was them. We talked and scenery has started changed but then it felt normal to me. As more time passed, I started to forget the life I had. Some memories were intact yet some weren’t true. I knew the Avengers and Bartons.” _The only I had family_, Natasha thought then continued. “But also there were memories from another life, a life where there were no Red Room, no Ivan Petrovich and a life where my parents were alive.” She tried to lighten the mood, bumping his arm with hers. “We formed a rock band called the Avengers, Tony.”

Tony didn’t react the way Nat hoped for. When he spoke, one could have sensed the guilt he was feeling. “So I woke you up from the paradise?”

“It wasn’t real.” Sure it felt quite real to Natasha but she would pick the reality over dream any day even if reality is full of pain.

* * *

After that conversation, they continued to talk what felt like hours; only to stop when they felt the ground shake underneath them. “What’s going on?!” Tony asked, standing up abruptly.

“I don’t know, there wasn’t any earthquake during my other life!” Natasha answered frantically as she rose up to her feet.

Nothing hit them but Tony hissed in pain, clutching his hand over his heart. But then came the serenity. Natasha shook Tony lightly. “Are you okay?”

“I am…” He answered, sounding airy. “I feel like it’s time to go.”

“Go where?” She didn’t like the sound of it.

Tony hugged Natasha tightly as if it’s the last time he’s hugging her. “After everything with Ivan Vanko and later on Chitauri, I started to see you as a sister I’ve never wanted.”

Natasha hugged him back. “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Tony didn’t answer her question. “I am glad to get to know you, Nat.” With that, he let her go and took a few steps back, starting to vanish before her eyes.

Natasha tried to reach him – to grab him, so he wouldn’t go. “TONY!” Yet her effort was in vain.

Before she could register his disappearance, whole world started to shook and immense headache hit her. Natasha was raised in the Red Room. She went through countless tortures. **_You have to know what it feels like to be tortured in order to be torturer, Natalia._** That was what Ivan told her and she used to believe him.

But nothing could have prepared her for moment, this pain. She felt like her head was about to explode. She screamed as she fell on her knees, clutching her head with her hands. Her spots started to appear in her vision before she lost consciousness.

* * *

** _The darkness_ **

** _._ **

** _._ **

** _._ **

** _The water_ **

** _._ **

** _._ **

** _._ **

** _As Natasha opened her eyes, everything was black as if it was the darkest night…_ **

**Author's Note:**

> *Mamochka: Mummy/Mommy  
*моя любовь: My love  
* Боже мой: Oh My God (this is what she said in first Avengers movie where she beat down the men while being tied to a chair)  
**There is a fanart of them together. I was inspired by that art in this scene  
The ending is the beginning of Future isn’t set in the stone.  
• I made up the name of Natasha’s mother. Her father’s name came from her middle name. Natalia Alianovna Romanova. The middle name means “daughter of Alian”. In Endgame, Red Skull called her “daughter of Ivan” but it was a stupid ass decision so I elected to ignore it.  
• I wanted to hit you readers in the guts like it hit me while writing this. I wanted to give Natasha something normal that she could have had like picking dresses with her mother, gossiping with her, showing affection to the parents she didn’t have as she grew up. That woman deserves all the happiness she could get. Endgame did her dirty but still I can’t wait for her movie. Natasha is my favorite sh of all time.  
• Lastly, I wanted to include everyone in Nat’s soul world but it’s already over 5k words so I cut that part short.


End file.
